Cherry
,
Monday, 9th of August 2010 10:08:09 AM
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It
Cherry
is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a)
Registered User
When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina
Joined: Thursday, 6th of May 2010, 20:10:24
Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss
Posts: 399
is car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who
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brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his
friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5:
Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate is fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6:
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your mate is birthday is strictly optional.But
you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy is choice.
/>7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a
sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may
never ask whose playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman
only after you have brought her to climax.If you trap her head under the
covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a
Dutch oven), she is officially your girlfriend.
10: It is
permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a
tropical beach ... and it is delivered by a topless model and only when it
is free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril
are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless
you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends do not let
friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man is fly
is down, that is his problem, you did not see anything.
15:
Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until
they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as
the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot,
suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
/>17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that is just greedy.
18: If you
compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice
of beer.
19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a
friend of yours, except if she is withholdingpending your response. />
20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to havewith her.Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who
was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey .The fact that
you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each
other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car.It is not
acceptable for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a
car in the colors of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue. />
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for
Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what l want!' gets and X-Box
360 End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice
Skating or Men is Gymnastics. Ever.
27: We've all heard about
people having guts or balls.But do you really know the difference between
them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed
below:
' GUTS ' is arriving home late after a night out with
the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts
to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
'
BALLS ' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on
the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'
l
hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of
Man Laws